Thank you's and Emotions

I want to thank Franchesca at Abiding Hope Collages for making this beautiful collage for us, we will cherish it forever.


I would also like to thank Sarah at Say it with flowers for writing Jasper's name on a flower. I was finally able to purchase my wonderful picture so I can share it with all of you. I would also like to mention that Jasper's name being on a tulip brings a special memory because tulips just happens to be Jasper's great-grandpa's favorite flower and had them planted in his garden and the tiger lily next to it happens to be one of my favorites.


I can't believe the roller coaster of emotions I have been having since I have decided to come off of Prozac. It almost feels like I've been paused in time and now my life is starting to play again in slow motion. It will take about a month for it all to leave my system. I wish I never started taking it, but the only reason why I had to, is because I was forced to go back to work too soon. I will continually have to keep reminding myself that I don’t want to go back to the way I was before I had to start. Before the Prozac my poor Jonathan had to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming, I never wanted to leave my house ever again. It was even worse when I saw a pregnant women or a baby. I would freak out, runaway and cry. Now, when I see a pregnant woman or baby it feels like I got punched in the gut a few times. I don’t have that urge to run any more or at least if I do; I don’t. I’m so glad Jonathan never gave up on me. I would be a mess without him.

Well, I’m officially in the TWW (two week wait). I really don’t think we will end up pregnant this cycle, but you never know. If we did end up pregnant in this cycle it would be to close to Jasper’s due date and I would be worried OH, 95% of the time, not that I wouldn’t be anyway if we got pregnant a couple of months from now. When my next cycle starts that is when I start doing everything again, by everything I mean temperatures every day, I bought those new fertility tests that First Response has that you do on day 3 of your cycle to see if you have a good egg reserve, ovulation tests, and then when it is time a pregnancy test or two or three. Yes, if you haven’t guessed it already I’m a POAS-aholic (POAS = pee on a stick).