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Monday, September 14, 2009

Feeling bad about being selfish

I did something unintentional last night at work and now I feel so bad. I worked on a different floor last night and one of the girls just got off of maternity leave and was talking about her daughter all the time. I really didn't care about it I just tuned her out like I usually do. Well, working at night we usually just bring our food to the nurses station and eat there; so that is what I did and I pulled out the recent book that I'm reading and I have a bookmark that I made with a pic of Jasper, his footprints, and his name in the sand. I meant to put my bookmark upside down, but I didn't and she saw it and started asking questions so I explained what happened to Jasper. From then on out she didn't mention her daughter at all. I know she was being nice and respectful to my feelings, but I should have said something. I was being selfish and now I feel like crap.



  1. I don't think you were being selfish. I think that it is good for you to talk about it. It was her choice to stop talking about her daughter.
    If and when you see her again just ask her how her daughter is and I'm sure that will make things okay. You didn't do anything wrong.

  2. What were you being selfish about? Talking about your son? Thats not selfish, thats being a proud mommy. She made the decision not to talk about her daughter, not you. You did nothing wrong, and don't feel guilty for anything.
    PS...The bookmark you made sounds beautiful.

  3. I agree with the ladies above. You weren't selfish at all. Maybe the next time you see her it will be different.

    And don't hide your bookmark away it sounds lovely.

  4. I also agree. How is you talking about Jasper any different than the other woman talking about her daughter? Not selfish, he's just as much a part of who you are and your life as her daughter is for her. I don't know about anyone else, but I'm tired of worrying about making other people uncomfortable if I mention my daughters. They don't worry about my discomfort around their babies. I'm tired of everyone pretending they never existed, they exist for me every hour of every day in my heart., and I'm sure it's that way for all of you, too.
    I love the book-mark idea, by the way. :)

  5. you weren't being selfish at all! you made a choice to talk about your beautiful child, while she made a choice to stop talking about hers. you can't control how other people are going to react, and, most of the time, they don't know what to do/say/feel/act around us type of mommies. don't ever hide your beautiful jasper from ANYONE!


  6. If she asked, she deserves to know the truth. If she didn't want to know, she shouldn't have asked. I hope you're not too hard on yourself.

  7. I don't think she would feel you were being selfish. I think she stopped talking about her baby so her words would not hurt you. I don't think you did anything wrong. You are a mommy to a beautiful baby and you just told your story. xx

  8. I don't think you were selfish. She asked about your son and you answered her truthfully. She prolly did feel bad but you can't control that.

  9. Yeah- you are NOT selfish in anyway. You have every right to talk about your baby too! I'm sure that woman didn't think you were being selfish, either. I'm sure she probably felt sad for you.

  10. there is nothing selfish about that hun, Jasper has every right to be talked about :) im sure though that she didnt know what had happend, and if she did she might of been more thoughtful about it all towards you,
    dontever feel selfish or bad about what you have done hun