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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The day of Feb 26, 2009

Thank you all so much for all of your wonderful comments. I no longer feel selfish or bad in any way. She did say she was sorry that she kept rambeling on about her daughter and I told her not to be; that she had no way of knowing about my precious son.

I've been thinking alot lately about Feb 26, 2009. That was the day I was admitted into the hospital. I had an appointment an hour away from my house in Gaineseville, Fl. I should have never went. I should have stayed closer to home, just a few day earlier I was in OB because of contractions due to a UTI that I didn't know I had. I will rewind a little bit to that night. I was at home and started having pain in the upper abdomen that would tighten my whole belly, so off to L & D we go. I was taken upstairs, told to pee in a cup, and got put on the monitor. 20 minutes go by a nurse finally walks in tells me I'm having contractions every 5 minutes, I have a UTI, I have protien in my urine, and my BP is super high. 180's over 90's. I was given my first dose of Procardia to stop the contractions and I asked about the risk of Pre-eclampsia I've been doing my reading. She then began to reassure me that the protien and the BP was probably due to the contractions. She is an OB nurse of course I'm going to believe her. After 4 doses of the Procardia contracions have stopped and my BP is finally normal. The only thing that is reassuring me is my active little boy, his heart rate is staying strong and normal and he wouldn't stop trying to kick the monitor off. It was so funny to watch him try though. A few hours go by and my OB comes in says the contractions have stopped and I could go home. She asked me if I wanted a script for the Procardia to take at home and stupid me told her no, because it made me feel like crap. I was very surprised that she didn't do a cervical check or another pee test to check for protien. I even asked her about it and she wasn't worried. She is the OB so I believe her.

Back to Feb 26th. I had an appointment with Dr. L my Hematologist because I do have Factor V and was on Lovenox. I figured this is an appt I shouldn't miss so I went. This was also the day I was going to go to Build a Bear and make Jasper's bear. Anyway, this was very different then the other appts that I have had there. We waited for Dr. L for a long time before he came in. They kept telling us he was waiting on my blood work to come back. When he came in he looked very concerned, he told me I would have to go to the hospital to be evaluated over night because my platlet counts where low and my liver enzymes where high on top of my BP being 130's over 80's. He said I might have Pre-eclampsia and that going to the hospital to be evaluated was the only way to know for sure. So, I went to the hospital after alot of trying to get out of it. I already wrote the next part of the story you can read it here Jasper's birth story.

It makes me so freaking mad that my OB didn't look into anything further when I was in L & D. I don't understand her logic for not doing so. I know she is the only OB in that hospital, but if she is so overworked that she can't do her job she should hire another OB for her practice. I will be looking for a new OB, but the problem is I live in a small county and have to travel to go anywhere else because the other practice in the county is crap as well.


  1. I am sorry about your OB. I remember Jenna would try to kick the monitor off my belly too. I miss her kicking me. Thank you for sharing your story. Thinking about you and I am glad you're not being hard on yourself about being selfish because you weren't. ((hugs))

  2. I often think about the decisions that were leading up to the loss. Decisions I made, decisions my doctor made. I wish things were different. I wish I would have fought to stay on bedrest in the hospital. Maybe things would have been different. But, I also know I can't think about those things too much because they'll drive me crazy. Hang in there, Lisa!

  3. I too wish I would have made other decisions or better informed myself of issues that could arise. However, I trusted my doctors to do this for me. We all did the best we could at the time an that is what we have to keep telling ourselves. xx

  4. It aggravates me when things get pushed aside by doctors and are thought of as 'no big deal'. Don't blame you for wanting a new ob.

  5. I look back and question a lot as well. Question why I didn't push certain things, question why other Dr's who weren't my own didn't understand my concerns when I was on bedrest. I joked to my own Dr, that if we were to ever have another baby, he wouldn't be allowed to go on vacation or be far away from the hospital...just in case. He laughed, but i'm not sure how much of that was really a joke.
    You did the best you could for you and Jasper, for what you knew. You aren't a Dr, you are a mom. A woman who was pregnant and caring for her baby to the best of her ability. You need to trust your Dr, and you did. Unfortunately, the "what ifs" will probably always be there.
    You need to look out for you and baby as #1 for next time, and if that means finding another Dr, at a hospital that is a bit of a drive, then you need to. You need to have trust in who is caring for you and your baby.