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Saturday, August 22, 2009

The last two weeks

I have decided that I am going to change the title of my blog. About two weeks ago, I opened my blog to read it, started staring at the title In memory of Jasper Thomas, and while there is nothing wrong with the title. I started crying I know I can come up with something better for me and for what Jasper represents to Jonathan and me. I am still not 100% on what the title will be, but I will expect to have it changed with in 24 hours. I will be keeping the link the same.

It has been officially two weeks since I began my new job and shift. I went from being a Rehab Tech to finally going back to be a Patient Care Tech and from working eight hour day to working twelve hour nights. It has definitely been interesting I am still trying to get used to it all. I am very grateful to be working with some of the people I used to work with on the floor before I left three years ago to work in Rehab. Of course, none of them knew about Jasper or what had happened to us; so I have been telling our story repeatedly over the last couple of weeks. I definitely do not mind I like being able to tell people about my special little angel. It makes me feel like they are aware that he was very much real.

I have also been very eager to stop taking Prozac; I cannot stand the way it makes me feel. I feel like an emotionless zombie; as if I am off in my own little Lisa world that I cannot escape. I fear that it is doing more harm then good. That is the only way I will ever know if Prozac is doing more harm then good.

I would like so give a special thanks to two amazing women who sent me a very special gift: Thank you so much to Bree, her blog is My Baby Butterfly Ella for sending me Jasper’s Butterfly and Lea, her blog is Nicholas’ Touch for sending me Jasper’s angel wings. I adore them and have them both hanging in Jasper’s room.



  1. I agree. I don't mind sharing my story. I love talking about my baby, dead or not. Look forward to seeing your new blog title. Thinking of you!!

  2. I think that may be something that will never go away, us yearning to talk about our lost children. They are as real to us as any live child. In the days after my son died I prayed and prayed for a sign that my son was okay and knew how much I loved and missed him. I got that sign the day we drove home for the hospital and while Im not ready to share what that is, I titled my blog after that experience. I wanted to name it something personal from my time with Bryston. If that helps give you any ideas for a new blog name or not, I hope it does. Hugs new friend!

  3. I just wanted to let you know that I was thinking about you and that I do like your new blog title. Your angel wings and butterfly are beautiful! What a nice gift. Sending you hugs and prayers.

  4. The anti-depressants Im taking (zoloft) make me feel the same, relatively emotionless. And weird. I don't like it either. But I couldnt get through the day without being hysterical. Im not sure which is worse. I'm hoping exercise will help, and that I can wean soon.

  5. Thinking of you Lisa. The butterfly and angel wings are beautiful. You are so lucky to have such caring people in your life.