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Thursday, August 27, 2009

It's about time to sadness to ruined moment

It only took 3 months, but we finally got a call from the Funeral home. The company that we put our special order in for Jasper's urn, finally said that they would be able to do everything we wanted. I was just about ready to give up and go to a different Funeral home. We go there Monday and look at the pictures to see what his urn will look like.

I can't believe I have to put my son in an urn and not in his crib. I miss him so much. I would give anything just to have him in my arms and not have to go through all this pain. It has been almost six months since he was taken from me and I can remember that day as if it was yesterday. Why is it that we can't remember happy memories like it was yesterday? Why is it you can only remember the sad stuff that way?

Last night at work one of my co-workers asked me if I have a picture of Jasper. Being the proud mommy of an angel that I am, I pulled out my photo album that I keep in my purse of him. I have in there my favorite ultrasound pictures, the last pic of me pregnant with Jasper, I have pics of him alive and fighting and pics of him after he became an angel. A few of my co-workers looked at him and ooed and awwed and I was loving it. What mother wouldn't? Anyway, one girl just had to ruin my moment when she asked me why I would carry pics of him if he was gone? I just simply told her that he is my son and I love to show him off no matter what. One of my co-workers that was sitting next to me backed me up, she said she would do the exact same thing if it was her child. I wanted to give her the biggest hug for sticking up for me. I did say thank you.



  1. I too would carry pictures if it were me.
    How can someone say something like that.
    What happened to "If you don't have anything
    nice to say, don't say anything at all" I
    am glad you had backup.

  2. I think its wonderful that you carry around picures of Jasper. Some people just don't understand that he IS your son, and that just because he is gone physically from this earth it doesn't change that. Continue to be the proud mommy that you are, don't let one person get you down.

    I too wonder why the bad moments are the ones that are so vibrant in my memories. I am glad though, because its all we have with them. We don't have day to day things to look forward to, or learn from other children in our life.

    I hope your heart heals a wee bit more with Jaspers urn arriving soon. I know when the boys headstone was finished, as hard as it was to see it, it did bring me some peace. They had something for them, that was made just for them. I can't give them anything else in this life, but I was able to give them that.


  3. So sorry that someone said something so hurtful to you. My sister lost her son RJ a few days prior to his full term birth and they never determined why. But she has a beautiful album of him and has a huge picture of him hanging in her living room. People always look at those things strangely, but just because they are not on this earth right now, does not mean that you aren't there mommys! Show off your boy, love him and miss him, but don't let others coldness change anything!

  4. I cannot wait to get our pics back and I will also be showing off my son as well! He is our son and I am just as filled with pride even tho he is passed. Some people just dont get it.

  5. I have our first pic of my Jenna in my phone. It is so special to me. I show it to anyone who wants to meet our little angel. I am glad you carry pictures of your precious Jasper with you.

  6. I carry pictures of Carleigh. I put some in my little photo book where I carry other pictures and then I have a little album just of her. I don't see anything wrong with it!!

    And I'm sorry about your bad experience. I think it would be good to get the records. More than likely there will be things you don't know about.