I have been wanting to write this for some time now and just was not sure if I should. I just can not hold this in any longer it is eating me alive and I have to write it out.
I need to get this part out first because it has to deal with the main part of the story. I don't know how else to say this, so I will just get on with it.
This has been eating at me since we went to Chicago in November. Jonathan and I went to dinner with his brother and wife, so my brother-in-law and sister-and-law. Like always the conversation started about god and religion. Jonathan and I are both Agnostic, we are unsure that there is a god or an intelligent creator. We are just a couple of people who accept everyone for who they are and expect the same. Well, not with them. My brother-in-law especially. He finds every exuse to argue the subjet. In this case he went to far or he put his foot and his mouth and their is absolutely no way I could ever forgive him for this. The discussion came up about loosing a child and my brother-in-law said pretty much that we lost Jasper because we are godless and evil. I was dumb founded and pissed to say the least. He soon after tried to take this statement back and say something different, but the damage is done with me. I know on some level he meant it when he said it, even if he doesn't know. The people in my life know I'm not an evil person. I am a person who will bend over backwards to help them. I treat EVERYONE with respect and dignity as I expect to be treated and this is what I get and from my own family.
I'm usually a very forgiving person, but I don't know how I can forgive my Brother-in-law for saying what he said.
The way I think of things is that if there is a god. I would hope that he would understand why I didn't believe he exsisted. If a god exsists and he is just like he is in the bible, all mean and unforgiving of people like me who are unsure then so be it. Then it is for me to live with. I don't understand why people get so offended by me being agnostic, it's not like I want to change anyone.