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Saturday, February 13, 2010

Some Thank you's and some rambelings

I would like to say thanks to Megan for writing Jasper's name in the snow. I sure do love to see his name and that other people think of him...

...and Birni for making this beautiful Valentine for Jasper.

Not much going on here. I am still trying to figure out where to have Jasper's Birthday party. I'm thinking Rainbow Springs State Park. I plan on doing a balloon release. I would like to ask a favor if you would on March 4th light a candle or release a balloon and take a pic and send it to me at jasperthomas@live.com. I would be forever grateful. These next few weeks are going to be hard to say the least.

I'm so hoping that the clomid worked this month, I do not want to endure another month of this stuff. I'm so glad I finally ovulated and that I'm no longer the crazy lady. Now, I'm a crazy lady in a different way. I am in the two week wait and that in a sence will drive you crazy. I'm over analyzing every twinge in my body. Symptoms so far are tender breasts, bloated, and that is about it. I think that is pretty good for only being 3dpo (days past ovulation).

I finally made my appts with my doctors. I see my new OB next Thursday and my Hematologist next month on the 21st. I think I overwhelmed the nurse for my new OB with everthing that has happened to me. It will also be interesting to see what my Hematologist says when he finds out that Jasper had a clot in his placenta and why it was never caught by a high risk doctor or my OB. If it had infact been caught early enough I would have been on a higher dose of Lovenox and on strict bed rest. The blood clot had been there a month before I had my emergency c-section, so maybe Jasper would have been close to where he should have been.

I know I have to stop thinking about the what if's? and What should have beens? I just don't know how I can. This is probably the most difficult part of being a baby lost mama.


  1. Your welcome for the snow!
    Oh Lisa I know it must be so hard for you to keep your worries quiet. I can't imagine. *hugs* I really hope the clomid works for you this month too!!

  2. I love the new things for Jasper. Its so sweet when others reach out to remember your babies.

    Keeping everything crossed that the Clomid works for you. I know the pain and frustration with that drug, its horrible.

    Big *hugs*

  3. Those what ifs are brutal. I live with them everyday as well...I'm sure most of us do. I hope this 2 week wait goes by fast for you & you see that positive result! Keep us posted!

  4. The what ifs are the worst. I try not to think about them, but their always there in the back of my mind no matter what. Keeping my fingers crossed for you! (((HUGS)))

  5. Such lovely gifts for Jasper from your friends! Thank you for sharing them with us! I didn't realize you were in your 2ww, so I will say a prayer for your BFP! And I will add March 4th to my Yahoo calendar so I will get a reminder to light a candle for Jasper and for you. Hugs!

  6. I will keep you in my thought and prayers. This is going to be the scariest thing you will go through. Stay strong and if you need someone to vent to feel free to drop me a message.

  7. Thinking of you. Try to think positive thoughts. I know it's hard but you will get through this. Sending you a big ((HUG)).
    Jasper's gifts are great.

  8. Thinking of you and waiting with baited breath, praying that the clomid gets the desired result, and that this year your arms will be filled with life and new hope

  9. I am praying that everything works out for you. I have set up my reminder for Jasper.

  10. beautiful pictures. I have my fingers crossed for you. What colour balloon would you like me to release?

    p.s i love the new look of your blog. I wish i was clever enough to re-design my blog.

  11. Yes, the should have beens are so hard. Thinking of you as you prepare for Jasper's first birthday.