I would like to say thanks to Megan for writing Jasper's name in the snow. I sure do love to see his name and that other people think of him...
...and Birni for making this beautiful Valentine for Jasper.
Not much going on here. I am still trying to figure out where to have Jasper's Birthday party. I'm thinking Rainbow Springs State Park. I plan on doing a balloon release. I would like to ask a favor if you would on March 4th light a candle or release a balloon and take a pic and send it to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I would be forever grateful. These next few weeks are going to be hard to say the least.
I'm so hoping that the clomid worked this month, I do not want to endure another month of this stuff. I'm so glad I finally ovulated and that I'm no longer the crazy lady. Now, I'm a crazy lady in a different way. I am in the two week wait and that in a sence will drive you crazy. I'm over analyzing every twinge in my body. Symptoms so far are tender breasts, bloated, and that is about it. I think that is pretty good for only being 3dpo (days past ovulation).
I finally made my appts with my doctors. I see my new OB next Thursday and my Hematologist next month on the 21st. I think I overwhelmed the nurse for my new OB with everthing that has happened to me. It will also be interesting to see what my Hematologist says when he finds out that Jasper had a clot in his placenta and why it was never caught by a high risk doctor or my OB. If it had infact been caught early enough I would have been on a higher dose of Lovenox and on strict bed rest. The blood clot had been there a month before I had my emergency c-section, so maybe Jasper would have been close to where he should have been.
I know I have to stop thinking about the what if's? and What should have beens? I just don't know how I can. This is probably the most difficult part of being a baby lost mama.