It has been one year since Jasper was born and passed away. I can't even believe I made it through last week. As it approached I felt like I would crumble to a million pieces and fly away and part of me wishes that I had. I never wanted this year mark to come. Well, I never wanted to to come without Jasper. I hate the fact that he is gone, I hate the fact that I have to go on without him, I just hate everything about this. The truth of the matter is, if my sister wasn't down here I probably would have went insane. Somehow her being down here, keeping me busy doing things kept me from going insane for sure.
On March 4th we went to Silver Springs state park to celebrate Jasper's birthday. We spent the day talking about Jasper, taking boat rides hearing about the history, and taking lots of pictures. My sister and I did buy Jasper some presents and put them on Jasper's Dresser.
On March 6th we did a lot on Jasper's Angelversary. We started out by going over to Rainbow Springs so that I can honor Jasper by taking photos of some Angel rocks by the waterfalls. We then went to the beach and did the balloon release and I wrote Jasper's name in the sand.
I just wish so bad that I would be writing how Jasper made a mess of his first birthday cake and how he reacted to his presents and there would have been way more then two. I know I will always wonder about the what-if's, what Jasper would be doing, and what he would look like. I wish people could understand that I didn't loose someone that I knew for a lifetime. I lost my child who I never got to know, and who I never got to see grow up.