Thank you all who replied to my last post failure. I'm was in a bad way and still am. I thought this was supposed to get easier, but it's not. I wish my insurance never cut me off with counseling. For those who asked about Jasper's clothing drive the link is at the top of my blog. Just click on the pic of his little feet
Recently I met a man in his 60's and we got to talking. He asked me "if I was married?". My answer yes. "How long?" 6 years, but been together almost 14 years. Then for the dreaded question "Any kids?" Yes, but he is no longer with us. He asked me "How long has it been?" so I told him almost 8 months and here is where everyone starts saying "god has a plan" and "everything happens for a reason" bull shit. Nope, not him. He said "that he knows how I feel and the pain does get better." I told him that I hope so because this pain I feel hurts alot. Then he said "That he himself lost a son at 14 months old 40 years ago and continued to tell me his story about what happend to his son. His son was born with blue baby syndrome and at 12 months had the surgery and was getting better starting to get his normal color. Both he and his wife weren't paying attention for a couple of seconds and he fell out of his highchair ended up in the hospital because of it and passed away 6 days later. When he was telling me his story he started to cry so I grabbed his hand and we both cried. He told his story as if it happened yesterday. I guess the point of my story is the pain may lessen, but we will always remember.
I will be away in Chicago for the next week, so I won't be able to read.