Well first let me tell you a bit about the situation. I work as a CNA in a 119 bed hospital in a small town in Florida. We usually don't have days like this, but last night I was ready to quite not only because of the situation, but because of some of my co-workers as well. It all started about 8 p.m. I was asked to go into a room with a patient to help her do something the patient was very short of breath and needed my help with something so as she was doing what she needed to do which he needed to be flat for and if you ever have been short of breath the last thing you want to do is be flat on your back, anyhow I was holding the patients hand and just trying to get him to relax while the nurse was doing what needed to be done. Ten minutes later I was in with another patient and I hear that dreaded code call for that patient. I stop what I was doing to go see what I needed to help with and just the site of him being intubated and them breathing for him with the Ambu-bag made me start having flashbacks of getting to the NICU and seeing them work on Jasper with the Ambu-bag. I panicked and started crying. Now, here comes the fucked up part when I was asked what was wrong from a couple of co-workers they just rolled their eyes at me and just walked away one of them had the nerve to say "AWWW shit you need to stop doing this to yourself, your son is up in heaven now" I wanted to tell her what I really thought about that. I just didn't want to start an argument.
I know the whole situation was not about me, but this was the first code I have been a part of since starting back at the hospital. The last time I ever saw a code was when they where coding my son. I think I am aloud to be a bit upset about it. The whole situation about how I was treated by some of my co-workers sucked and I just didn't want to be any where around them any more.
I'm sorry you had to experience the code. I know it can't bring back good memories for you and I think your coworkers are being insensitive about it. They would certainly sing a different tune if they knew what it was like to lose.
ReplyDeleteIf they could be in your shoes for a moment they would be more understanding. I am so sorry. You have a right to have moments like that.
ReplyDeleteMy niece became a CNA and works in Florida too!
Born and raised in Chicago too! Small world.
You are much stronger than I am. I would have been fired. I think my emotions would have got the best of me and someone (or two) would have been hurt. Some people are just so insensitive. One day they will understand how much that hurt you. Most likely they haven't lost someone close to them, let alone a child. I am so sorry for for losses.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you were treated like that. They have no right to act that way. It is people like that, that i wish could walk a day in our shoes and see how it feels, im sure then they wouldnt be so mean.
ReplyDeletexxx
I am so sorry your co-workers treated you like it was no big deal. I hate that people expect us to stop hurting just because they are in Heaven. You are allowed to be upset about it, and how could it not affect you differently after everything you have been through with your son? I would want to quit too!
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Lisa, I'm so sorry for this. Like others said, if they only knew what it was like, they would be more compassionate. They are lucky to be so innocent, but I wish they were more caring. {{{hugs}}}
ReplyDeleteIt is the person who said that to you who needs to quit and find a new job, not you. Anyone wih so little compassion and empathy should not be in a field that requires not only caring for people, but possibly saving their lives. They should know how fragile life is, and the difficulty and complexity of greif. I am impressed that you kept your composure, good girl! Karma will come around, and take care of that person for you, I'm sure of it.
ReplyDeleteStay strong, and dodn't let others amke you feel your way of greiving and your feelings aren't OK.
aww hun i am so sorry you had to go through that,
ReplyDeletei cant bewlive that one of your co-workers said that that was jsut right rude,
please hang in there hun