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Saturday, July 18, 2009

What a week

The week I had is a complete nightmare. Monday started out like any other week and that is going to work except I was still sick and getting worse. I have been coughing for the past three weeks and nothing is working on it.

Tuesday gets worse my sinuses felt like they were going to explode so I finally call my doctor and the only time they have for me is Wed so I took it. That's not all that happened on Tuesday. I was at work and one of my co-workers ended up bringing her 1 year old daughter to work because she was off. I work in a hospital and right now I'm working with Physical therapy and I happened to be on the floor she came to. I was in a room with the patient and I can hear her and her daughter in the hall and I froze. The therapist I was with asked me to go get the walker and some linen so that I could set up a chair for the patint to sit in and I couldn't move. I even started crying and had to tell him that I could not go out there right now because of our co-worker that brought up her daughter. There is a very long story about all of this and one day I may be able to write about it, but not today. I really didn't think I would be like that.

Wednesday I went to the Doctor and find out I have sinusitis and have to go on antibiotics and will have to be out of work that day. I'm just glad that I didn't have to be at the hospital when another one of my co-workers had her baby. I really hate hearing the lullabye that they play on the speaker system when a baby is born.

Thursday I ended up back at work and feeling a little bit better. I was getting money out of my locker to go to lunch when another co-worker walks in with her son on her hip. I stood there like a deer in headlights I didn't know whether to cry, run, or both. She came right over to me and held out her son to take him and I did. The whole time I was holding her son I couldn't help, but to think about Jasper and everything that I will miss out on. It was nice to hold and play with her son. It just felt natural and very saddening to know I will not get to do all of that with Jasper. So, I figured I made it through that I can make it through going to OB and congratulating my co-worker whom just had a baby girl. I was only there for about thirty seconds (Yes, I counted) I went in said congrats! gave her a hug, looked at the baby and left. I knew she wouldn't mind such a short visit.

Friday, Another day back at work at least it's Friday and payday. Anyway my co-worker was being discharged and I wanted to say bye to her because I won't see her when she comes back to work because I'm transferring back to be be a CNA (certified nurses assistant) and can't wait to do so. This time I went in there and two other co-workers are there so I have to wait to say bye to her. Finally, I got my turn and I left when everyone was swooning over the new bundle of joy. This time was just to much for me and I started crying. Luckily nobody asked me what was wrong. I just think they knew.


1 comment:

  1. My heart is so heavy knowing your pain. I pray for your comfort.