My 2nd Mother’s day started out pretty nice. Jonathan and I went to Rainbow Springs. When we got home from doing that I noticed that a special showing of Letters to Juliet was playing in a nearby town, so we decided to go see it. We got to Ocala and went to the mall and did some shopping and ate some lunch. Headed over the Best Buy to see the latest and greatest gadgets there are and then headed to the movie theatre. We got to the ticket counter and the movie was sold out. I was so disappointed. Honestly, in the 14 years Jonathan and I have ever been together we have never had this happen. Even for sneak previews. After that we just headed home and spent the rest of our day there. I was very surprised that I only had one major breakdown while having lunch.
Lately, my depression has kicked into overdrive. It pretty much all started since I got my last monthly. I was so disappointed we didn’t get pregnant last cycle even though I knew I shouldn’t and the fact that we are supposed to be on a forced break until I get out to North Carolina in June. I can’t do it, I just can’t.
I also need to take a break from my blog. It seems like everyday I read the blogs that I follow and everyday there is a new pregnancy announcement. Don’t get me wrong I’m happy for everyone. I’m just at a point right now where I feel like I will never get to have that again and it is depressing. We started trying again in Sept and nothing. I hate that I feel this way, but when you suffer from Infertility for so long and then lose your child and then have to deal with the infertility part all over again. IT SUCKS!