Our rainbow Samuel Thomas Goldthorpe
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Flashback to Innocence
Tonight as I was giving Samuel a bath I gave myself a break from toddler radio and was listening to some 90's pop radio on Pandora. We where having a blast. I was singing and dancing around and Samuel was laughing. I was just happy that he was having so much fun, but then all of a sudden I was hit with a ton of emotion. There should be a 4 year old in the tub with Samuel. He should be laughing and getting up and dancing with me and maybe even trying to sing along.
I hate that it just hits me like this. In the most happy moments then....BAM! Slap across the face with the what should have beens. Then I start thinking back to the 90's when I was so innocent to this life. The life of a baby loss mommy and I miss those days. I am sad at the fact that for the rest of my life I will be plagued by the what should have beens.
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Losing a child is a real eye opener isn't it? It's so sad there are so many of us who belong to this club.
ReplyDeleteI didn't know little Sammy was having developmental issues - I'm thinking about you and hope that he responds to the therapy well. Sure wish your ins. company would be more helpful. Love you! xoxo