Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tonight as I was giving Samuel a bath I gave myself a break from toddler radio and was listening to some 90's pop radio on Pandora. We where having a blast. I was singing and dancing around and Samuel was laughing. I was just happy that he was having so much fun, but then all of a sudden I was hit with a ton of emotion. There should be a 4 year old in the tub with Samuel. He should be laughing and getting up and dancing with me and maybe even trying to sing along. I hate that it just hits me like this. In the most happy moments then....BAM! Slap across the face with the what should have beens. Then I start thinking back to the 90's when I was so innocent to this life. The life of a baby loss mommy and I miss those days. I am sad at the fact that for the rest of my life I will be plagued by the what should have beens.
at 10:48 PM