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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Broken Record

I know I haven't been blogging that much, but I just hate sounding like a broken record all the time. It seems like every time I blog it is always the same stuff. Once I would just like to come here and blog about some good news. I wish that time is now, but unfortunately it's not.

I thought for sure last cycle was it. I was so sure that I was going to get a BFP that when I tested and got a BFN I was in shock. I really thought it was a bunk test so I retested two days later and it was a BFN. I keep trying to tell myself that it will happen soon that it will be next cycle, but how many cycles do I have to go through already. I'm not a patient person never have never will be.

It has been almost 18 months since this nightmare started and I still wonder if I had refused to let them take Jasper when they did. What would have happened? They claim I would have died if they didn't get him out when they did, but I will never know if that is true or not. I'm still very skeptical about it and I guess I always will be. I wonder if the doctors where just trying to avoid a law suit or where they really acting in my best interest.

I hope to one day post something positive.


  1. Lisa, I hope someday soon you do have good news to report, but until you do, and for sure after, we are here to uplift you. You made the best choices you could when Jasper was born. I have read of so many women nearly dying with what you had. I don't know your doctor, but he probably had your best interest at heart. Hugs to you and hubby as we remember Jasper. You have made a lovely memorial for him with your Waterfall Angels and I appreciate you doing my baby's name.

  2. It's hard not to get bogged down with all the bad news, I know. Whenever Im in one of those moods I ususally do blog, it really helps me to get it out. Then once I've written it down, I seem to move on a little eaiser, but that's me. And hey, I dont mind if your a broken record! I certainly have posted about some of the same stuff/problems before. Praying that you'll get that good news soon! (((HUGS)))

  3. If blogging helps you think out everything that is getting to you...then please do so. We don't care if you're a broken record. We are hear to read and support. Hoping you get your good news soon...

  4. In greiving, we go through the vicious cycle. We move forward and then one day we are back to the beginning. You are not alone in feeling that this is a broken record. We will be here to help you through every moment.

    I hope one day you get the positive. And, I hope that it is soon.

  5. I'm sorry it was a BFN. :( I'm hoping that soon you will have that BFP.

  6. So sorry!! What a heart break for another BFN!! Praying for good news to come quickly for you!