*Disclaimer I will be using harsh language*
I'm so sick and fucking tired of OPK's. I really don't even know why I continue to use them. I'm currently on cd 20 and the fucking ovulation test will be almost pos one day, then fucking full fledge negative the next. I mean come on I know I have fucked up cycles, but this is getting ridiculous. This was never like this before Jasper. They would gradually get darker until it was postitve. I hope this in not some start to a new fucking problem, because right now I can not handle any new fucking problems. I can not help to wonder why I can not just be normal in the sense that I can get pregnant, have a trouble free pregnancy, and a happy healthy baby? Nope, instead I am to watch everyone else get their dreams while I sit back and watch. It's like the universe is saying on big fuck you to me. I will not sit back and watch quietly, I will do everything in my power to be able to give the universe my middle finger back and say. HA! I fucking beat you. AAAAAAAAHH! Much better at least for now.
OMG, I could have written THIS post myself. SCREW OPK's, they did me NO good this month, I even bought MORE tonight. I am currently on CD24, FF said I o'd on 16 and I still dont have a + OPK... WTF!
ReplyDeleteAll I can think about is...
WTF else is wrong with my faulted body, what!?
Vent all you need! I cannot even imagine the frustration with those damn OPK. *hugs* I'm going through another cycle myself and am so incredibly exhausted by all of it. I just want to get pregnant the old fashion way. Is that too much to ask? Grrr I hate you infertility.
ReplyDeleteI agree and could have written this post too! And it's like the universe is laughing at me saying "what else can I throw your way and watch you struggle with and laugh." I am also waiting for a +OPK and I even have the damn monitor that friend let me borrow...I am on cycle day 18 and have been at high for 6 days now....notta! It's like WTF.
ReplyDeleteAnd I am happy that you hav expressed yourself, don'te ver be afraid to offend someone, if they don't like it, they don't have to read it!
*HUGS*
ReplyDeleteOPKs didn't really work for me. I used them as directed and only saw a second line ONE time - and it was not darker than my control. I tested for 30 days - only that second line that once.... and I got pregnant that cycle - go figure.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you - I totally agree - why can't we all be normal? Is that really too much to ask.
Vent away, friend. I totally understand your frustration. I have the top of the line OPK, which worked pretty well when we were trying for Ella. But, it was a joke (so was temping) when I tried to get pregnant this time. I think it wasn't working properly because of my pcos, plus I was taking Clomid. Do you have a good relationship with your doctor? Maybe he/she'd be willing to do a monitored cycle and watch your follicles grow via ultrasound. That way you'd know for sure when you were going to ovulate. The other option is just to have sex everyday, but I know how hard that is when both parties are super depressed and stressed about trying in the first place. Thinking of you and sending your ovaries good vibes! :)
ReplyDeleteWe all need a good release like that some times. Remember God has a plan for your life and everything is in his time. Keep trying and when the time is right you will have your rainbow baby. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteYep, I hear you!!! It sux and sometimes we just need a good vent.. I almost could have written the post myself.. Hugs to you
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. (((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI did the OPKs for a bit but they seemed to do that to me too-be dark one day but then light the next. I gave up on them.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Lisa. I wish everyone ovulated on CD14, had sex once and conceived if you wanted to. If you didn't want a baby, no conception. Seems pretty easy to me, no? I feel your pain and frustration. The path to trying for a rainbow baby after everything we've been through is too much. It shouldn't be this hard. *hugs*
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ReplyDeleteThis is your space. If this is how you feel than you can say whatever you want. We all are here for you. I have a friend that is going thru the same thing. She said that making a baby is so unromantic. It is so scientific it's not fun. I wish there were a way for this to be different. Hugs to you.
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