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Saturday, January 16, 2010

My poor husband

Today we went to the mall to do a little bit of shopping and we where in Kmart checking out when I told him I had to use the ladies room and I will be right back. I got up to the front of the store where he was watching a little girl, she was not listening to her mom at all. Jonathan and I walked out and he started laughing and said "That little girl just didn't want to listen to her mama." I snapped at him and didn't mean to. I said "you know what I just don't fucking care." The poor look on his face. I felt so bad. I just don't want to talk about any kids. I told him that and he said "That one day we will have a child either on our own or through adoption." Well, I started bawling. We should not be saying this in future tense. It should be the present. We should be parent's to Jasper. We are parents to Jasper, just not in the way we want to be. It is just not fair.

at 6:52 PM

12 comments:

  1. CourtneyJanuary 16, 2010 at 7:28 PM

    It is so incredibly unfair. Our boys should be here with us.

    I'm so sorry dear friend.
    Thinking of you!
    *hugs*

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  2. The Blue SparrowJanuary 16, 2010 at 7:58 PM

    Im so sorry, and yes it is sadly so unfair. I've had these moments too where Ive snapped at my husband to without realizing why. Thank God he loves me enough to understand whats behind it. I miss my babies. *HUGS*

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  3. KristyJanuary 16, 2010 at 8:48 PM

    Thinking of you hun, i'm sorry you had such a rough day. It happens to all of us, not that that makes you feel any better. Lots of *hugs*

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  4. RachelJanuary 16, 2010 at 8:55 PM

    It is so hard, you are a momma, but just dont get to act like one. Show him your post, I bet he gives you a big hug xo

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  5. JillJanuary 16, 2010 at 9:45 PM

    You are right. It is not fair. It is so hard and emotional. I wish I could reach through this computer and hug you.

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  6. FranchescaJanuary 16, 2010 at 9:58 PM

    I've been there too where I snapped and I didn't mean to, it just hurts, so sooo much.

    (((HUGS)))

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  7. ElizabethJanuary 17, 2010 at 8:53 AM

    *Big Hugs*

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  8. LauraJanuary 17, 2010 at 9:56 PM

    Thinking of you- hoping that your dreams will no longer be in future but in present tense!
    Hugs

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  9. Mommato4miraclesJanuary 17, 2010 at 10:18 PM

    I am so sorry! My heart breaks for you and your husband. I pray that 2010 will hold positive happy things for you.

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  10. MaryJanuary 18, 2010 at 3:38 PM

    It does get hard sometimes to look at children. Wishing that it was our children that were beside us. I hope and pray that things get easier.

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  11. HollyJanuary 19, 2010 at 3:24 PM

    I'm sorry! I wish you had Jasper!

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  12. HeatherJanuary 20, 2010 at 5:36 PM

    (())

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