Jasper's "official" due date 6/13/2009

Today was a very hard day. It marks the end of my pregnancy, and when Jasper's life should have started. Jonathan and I spent the day remembering Jasper's short life that he lived and the life he should have had. We took a trip up to Gainesville, Florida (an hour away from home) where Jasper was born to build him a bear from Build A Bear Workshop. I made a promise to Jasper when he was still living in my womb that I would make him a bear, so to memorialize Jasper's due date that is what I decided to do. When we got there, I was very grateful that there were not that many kids there. I guess somebody was looking out for me there. Jonathan and I looked over the bears and I originally picked out a different bear when we were walking up to the girl to make him we both saw him the one we got he reminded us of jasper so much, especially in the face. When the girl was done stuffing him she told me to pick out a heart, this was my first time at build a bear so I had no idea. I picked out a heart and she had me do their little ritual (I cried, she probably thought I was crazy) that they do. It was something like (I do not remember if I am right) rub it on your head for memory, rub it on your nose for (I do not remember that one), rub it on your heart for love, kiss it, make a wish then put it in the bear. Next, we picked out his clothes and then made him a birth certificate.

Jasper bear's birth certificate and picture of him: