Today was a sad day, I went for my 6 week postpartum check-up that wasn't supposed to happen until July sometime. Today was a day I should have been able to show Jasper off to everybody, but instead I have everyone in the office looking at me with their make shift sad faces. Some not saying anything, some saying I'm sorry for your loss, take care of yourself. Everyday It's hard to believe that this is not just a nightmare that I can just wake up from and everything will be alright, but everyday I wake up and realize that I am living in this nighmare. Everyday I think of Jasper and feel so much love for him. I miss him so much it hurts to breathe.