I know I haven't been blogging that much, but I just hate sounding like a broken record all the time. It seems like every time I blog it is always the same stuff. Once I would just like to come here and blog about some good news. I wish that time is now, but unfortunately it's not.
I thought for sure last cycle was it. I was so sure that I was going to get a BFP that when I tested and got a BFN I was in shock. I really thought it was a bunk test so I retested two days later and it was a BFN. I keep trying to tell myself that it will happen soon that it will be next cycle, but how many cycles do I have to go through already. I'm not a patient person never have never will be.
It has been almost 18 months since this nightmare started and I still wonder if I had refused to let them take Jasper when they did. What would have happened? They claim I would have died if they didn't get him out when they did, but I will never know if that is true or not. I'm still very skeptical about it and I guess I always will be. I wonder if the doctors where just trying to avoid a law suit or where they really acting in my best interest.
I hope to one day post something positive.
Jasper, Forever Our First-Born
- Lisa and Jonathan
- Jonathan and I where both born and raised in Chicago, Illinois. We met on May 5, 1996 and have been together since May 7, 1996 when he finally asked me out. We finally got married on Nov 11, 2003. After we got married, we did the whole not officially trying, but not preventing until Sept 2005 when we got serious about having a family. Fast forward to one year and four months, that is when we finally saw our first BFP on a pee stick. Sadly, at 5w 6d we had our first of 3 miscarriages on Feb 1, 2007, our 2nd miscarriage was on Nov 12, 2007 at 5w 1d, our 3rd miscarriage was May 3, 2008 at 4w 2d, and we just recently lost our rainbow baby Jasper on March 6, 2009 due to early onset severe Preeclampsia, HELLP, and severe IUGR.
