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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Broken Record

I know I haven't been blogging that much, but I just hate sounding like a broken record all the time. It seems like every time I blog it is always the same stuff. Once I would just like to come here and blog about some good news. I wish that time is now, but unfortunately it's not.

I thought for sure last cycle was it. I was so sure that I was going to get a BFP that when I tested and got a BFN I was in shock. I really thought it was a bunk test so I retested two days later and it was a BFN. I keep trying to tell myself that it will happen soon that it will be next cycle, but how many cycles do I have to go through already. I'm not a patient person never have never will be.

It has been almost 18 months since this nightmare started and I still wonder if I had refused to let them take Jasper when they did. What would have happened? They claim I would have died if they didn't get him out when they did, but I will never know if that is true or not. I'm still very skeptical about it and I guess I always will be. I wonder if the doctors where just trying to avoid a law suit or where they really acting in my best interest.

I hope to one day post something positive.